A feeling that I hadn't had for months. The last time I remember having that feeling was when my gf at the time ended it and I cried for hours. Now another girl that I met makes my heart feel like it's shattered into tiny pieces.
Maybe I deserve to be on my own. I have my husband and I love him to pieces but something inside of me is missing. Having a girlfriend is that missing piece of the puzzle and I would never dream of hurting anyone. Not intentionally. But then I think is it even worth it? Is it worth the pain and the suffering that I go through every time I get into a relationship with a woman. Every time I get hurt by them. Is it really worth my time.
As a tear rolls down my face I struggle to be strong. But it's ok. I understand. I get it u know..
Maybe I am not good enough to have as a girlfriend. Maybe I should stop looking and just stay with my husband. Having a girlfriend won't stop me from being with him because he is my everything and he comes first but still. No one ever understands when I explain to them how it feels to be loved by a girl when I have a husband who loves me unconditionally and will always love me no matter what. No matter how hard I try to explain they always tell me how greedy I am, or that I can't really love my husband because I want someone else when it's not like that at all. I love them both the same. No more no less. My husband will always come first and be my priority. If it means breaking up with the girl to save my marriage I would. But there would be a mutual agreement between all of us and hopefully we would remain friends.
