Maybe life would be better if I wasn't in it

I try so hard for people to like me or even love me and it just backfires.  What's wrong with me??  I'm just a stupid person.  I hurt everyone around me and what's the point in me being here?? My husband doesnt even love me,  and my family don't really care about me.  I don't want to be seen or reminded to someone as someone in their life that made it hell.  I would never want that.  I'm laying here crying with a knife wondering what life would be like if I wasn't here.  Must be a pretty nice place.. No one really worrying about me or yelling because I did something wrong.  Am I that much or a bad person that I push people away to the point that they block me or never speak to me again?? Wtf is wrong with me...  Í cant do any fucking thing right.. 😭😭. Life would be peaceful without me and everyone would be happy..  I wouldnt be hurting people anymore..  I wouldnt be breaking anyone's hearts because I wouldn't be here to hurt anyone..
I don't have anyone here..  I'm just a fuck up!!!!