can't seem to do anything right

You know when you try to be the best person that you can, When you try to be nice to people, care about their feelings listen to them and it gets thrown back in your face? I thought that's what friends did. But every time you try to be that nice person you get blocked or deleted and you start to question yourself. What did you do WRONG? How can you forgive yourself for letting this happen?? Many a time this far shadow will fall upon a lot of us especially me. When it does the words why me and what happened and how did this happen, and what have I done circle our minds. We try to fathom the reasoning behind things. Maybe over think things too much, but it's so hard when you have an alternative voice telling you how much of a horrible person u are and whatever u did drove this other person in question away. All that can be done is to sit and cry or find people to talk to that will listen and sympathize with you. 

Many times we are hindered by those darkened voices that shadow our minds, creating a false impression of people, making us think bad thoughts, and question our behavior. Take me for instance. I try to make friends and be a nice person. I am always kind and caring to everyone that I come across. I listen, and I am always there if people need me. But when someone that I thought was a friend, suddenly blocks me out of nowhere, on every social media, I am then again left wondering, what did I do wrong. I don't want to be left hanging, and then because of this I end up depressed and low and thinking how much of a bad person I was because they blocked me, and I must have been the reason that they blocked me. But I must be such a horrible person if they felt the need to block me, and the cycle begins. 

Life is hard. We all go through ups and downs, but its the people in our lives that care about us that matter most. I need people in my life that I can rely on to always be there.To want to know how I am, and won't leave me just hanging when I need them.
From an early age, I've always been a very shy person. This may be surprising to a lot of people because if they met me, they wouldn't necessarily see me as that kind of person, but it's taken me a good long while to grow confidence and feel that it doesn't matter what other people do or say. what matters though is how It is portrayed to me and how people see it. Maybe yes I'm not the prettiest or most attractive person in the world, but I have to have the confidence to show people that I can overcome that. I found that u have to love yourself in order for others to love you. That is true to an extent, however, only a few people know the real I and they love who I am and wouldn't change that. But I still have insecurities. I still have those moments of anxiety that make me feel like I am not good enough, or that I am not enough.