"All my life has been a series of doors in my face.." No, I'm serious. Ever since I have accepted myself as being bisexual and being allowed to date women by my husband, the people that I had dated in the past weren't shall I say the best people that I needed in my life at that time. Some were drug users, they had kids that were always disrupting our time together that made me feel like I never meant anything to them even though I know the kid's come first and I had no problem with them having kids. I used to smoke and stopped and now the smell or taste of smoke physically makes me sick. I try so hard to get people to quit smoking to better themselves. Keep them alive so that they can be with me longer because I care so much about them.
I wear My heart on my sleeve. Maybe that's not a good thing I don't know anymore. It's just who I have been and who I've grown up to be.
I signed up for skout a dating site. At the time, I had met a few girls on there (the drug users etc and a few weirdos that I didn't know at the time u til I dated them). I had been on skout for over a year maybe more. I made this long profile that stated I didn't want to find a gf that did drugs or had kids because of bad past personal experiences and my husband was in the military at the time so I couldn't have anyone that smoked weed because he took his job seriously and could have gotten kicked out if he ended up smelling like it because he was around them.
A month or so ago I met this girl. She is a lot more mature than the other girls and around my age. She is sweet beautiful sexy funny. We hit it off really well. She has an 8-year-old daughter and I love her kid. She is smart and beautiful just like her mom. I fell in love with this girl. What I had written originally in the profile about the not wanting someone with kids drugs smoking all that it didn't mean anything anymore. I wasn't looking for that now and things had changed because I had found a connection between someone (her) that I never thought I would ever find. She really cared about me and I want to make her happy. She finally read the profile and got upset and angry at me because I said I didn't want someone with kids or that did drugs (i.e a tweaker like my ex gf was or smoked etc..) and she told me she was the opposite and that she was on medicine, smoked and had her daughter. I told her the profile didn't mean anything anymore I even deleted it, but now I feel like I have lost her and my heart sank. I love her like I love my husband. I never wanted to intentionally hurt her. Not like this. I feel like such a bad person. I want to explain to her but I don't know how. This is me writing my feelings down before I break down and cry.
I wear My heart on my sleeve. Maybe that's not a good thing I don't know anymore. It's just who I have been and who I've grown up to be.
I signed up for skout a dating site. At the time, I had met a few girls on there (the drug users etc and a few weirdos that I didn't know at the time u til I dated them). I had been on skout for over a year maybe more. I made this long profile that stated I didn't want to find a gf that did drugs or had kids because of bad past personal experiences and my husband was in the military at the time so I couldn't have anyone that smoked weed because he took his job seriously and could have gotten kicked out if he ended up smelling like it because he was around them.
A month or so ago I met this girl. She is a lot more mature than the other girls and around my age. She is sweet beautiful sexy funny. We hit it off really well. She has an 8-year-old daughter and I love her kid. She is smart and beautiful just like her mom. I fell in love with this girl. What I had written originally in the profile about the not wanting someone with kids drugs smoking all that it didn't mean anything anymore. I wasn't looking for that now and things had changed because I had found a connection between someone (her) that I never thought I would ever find. She really cared about me and I want to make her happy. She finally read the profile and got upset and angry at me because I said I didn't want someone with kids or that did drugs (i.e a tweaker like my ex gf was or smoked etc..) and she told me she was the opposite and that she was on medicine, smoked and had her daughter. I told her the profile didn't mean anything anymore I even deleted it, but now I feel like I have lost her and my heart sank. I love her like I love my husband. I never wanted to intentionally hurt her. Not like this. I feel like such a bad person. I want to explain to her but I don't know how. This is me writing my feelings down before I break down and cry.
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